You know, sometimes it is really hard. No friends around. No people to talk with. When that kind of moments come I have very hard feelings. Crosses to bear. I cancelled some accounts because I see no sense in writing to people again and again with no or negative answearing. I'm not emo but sometimes I feel like I was one of them and I want to die, die, die. Or better: I regret I was born. I would like to be easier to communicate but I'm not. People don't understand me, they don't understand neither my feelings nor my needs. Even I don't understand myself. I don't do things I would like to. I hate my studies, my PhD matters, living with my family, my town. I hate boy I like is not interested in me but in some other guy. I should start my life again but I have not enough strength. I should feel I'm attractive, sexy, intelligent, clever, handsome, tallented. But I don't. Your damn idiot. PS. I would like my friends read it but they are not using deviantART or don't know English.